Fairy tales teach us to kill dragons, and these days senior English teachers prompt us to consider how we can slay or conquer them. Ok, maybe not all teachers but my son’s did, and it fascinated me. I didn’t mind the essay prompts, but I realized that this idea and imagery of death and battle just aren’t a good fit for me anymore.
In the movie How to Train Your Dragon, the character Hiccup says about his own dragon: “I wouldn’t kill him because he looked as frightened as I was. I looked at him, and I saw myself.”
Our shadows, our dragons, are as much a part of us as the opposite. There’s no need to kill anything off. But if you feel stuck, scared, or uninspired, you might think there is a dungeon that has you caged in. It might be worth your while to unlock that cell and walk out of the darkness into the light, or at least take a peek at the view.
I invite you to join me in a conversation around the stories we tell ourselves that generate fear or doubt in us. Goodness knows we can all fill a dance card with our fears.
My approach is to hold these fears in a gentle frame, like a nice waltz, instead of suiting up with armor with weapons drawn, ready to strike. There’s a tension to that type of embrace. and it’s a deep dive into the work of our lives. The work of us, inside, so our outside work will show up more authentic and true to who we are and what we really care about.
The fairly tales and fables we’ve been told within our culture, family or social systems, subconsciously dictate our experience and keep us from imagining something more loving and true for ourselves. These are the dragons worth training, not fighting. Wouldn’t you agree?
Understanding and bringing to light what is blocking us is a path to the inner treasures of our heart. There is nothing truer than your own knowing. Try following your compass, not the culture.
Taking a journey into uncharted territory isn’t easy, especially when it exposes you to judgement. But we experience change with or without the work, but to work for change in a positive direction can give us a greater sense of freedom.
Joseph Campbell called the unknown the abyss, and we don’t like being there. Our brain will present sound, rational reasons why we shouldn’t act, shouldn’t go there, but the cave we fear to enter is where the treasure (our own wisdom) is hidden.
One of my crazinesses is called “being nosey,” but when I was writing my dissertation, it was called “research.” On an average day it’s just simple “curiosity.” If we try to get rid of or kill anything off about who we are, we diminish or lose what makes us US.
Here are a few simple tools to play with that are always within your reach and can increase your awareness.. These techniques can help you connect with your heart and intuition. Don’t be fooled;, remember that simple does not mean easy. But with practice, anything can become second nature, even when you are under duress. They all reflect a deeper meaning to the easeful movement of Spirit between us and others, which I call Love.Being.Human.
Do nothing.
Stop doing what you normally do and do the opposite.
Release the tension of your need to know (when, how, where, who or why) and trust.
Follow what feels good.
Notice your judgements; name them and let them go.
Allow yourself to play and move forward according to your own inner compass.
Get quiet, drop into love, and allow.
Each of these practices are simple and not easy but are intended to help you pave the path to your heart—the place where your spirit comes alive.
Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays.
Ralph waldo emerson
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