Fairy tales teach us to kill dragons and these days senior English teachers prompt us to consider how we can slay or conquer them. Ok, maybe not all of them, but my son’s did and it fascinated me. Not the essay prompt but the imagery and the realization that the idea of death and battle just aren’t a good fit for me anymore.
In the Movie, How to Train Your Dragon, the character Hiccup says about his own dragon, “I wouldn’t kill him, because he looked as frightened as *I* was. I looked at him… and I saw myself.”
Our shadows, our dragons are as much a part of us as the opposite. There’s really no need to try and kill anything off. But if you feel stuck, scared or uninspired then there’s a real thought dungeon that is caging you in. That cell is worth unlocking and walking out of, from the darkness into the light, or at least taking a peek at the view.
My invitation in this note is to have you join me in a conversation around the stories we create that generate fear or doubt in us. We all have a dance card to fill with our fears. My approach is just more of holding it in a good frame, like a nice waltz, instead of suiting ourselves up with armor, weapons drawn and ready to strike.
There’s a tension to that type of embrace and it’s a deep dive into the work of our lives. The work of us, inside, so our outside work will show up more authentic and true to who we are and what we really care about.
The fairly tales and fables we’ve been told culturally in our family or social systems silently dictate our experience and keep us from imagining something more loving and truer for ourselves.
These are the dragons worth training.
Wouldn’t you agree?
Understanding and bringing to light what is blocking us is a path to the inner treasures of our heart. There is nothing truer than your own knowing.
Journeying to the unknown isn’t easy, especially when it exposes you to judgement. But we experience change with or without the work and change in a positive direction can give us a greater sense of freedom.
Joseph Campbell called the unknown the abyss, and we don’t like being there. Our brain will present very sound rational reasons why we shouldn’t act, but the cave we fear to enter is where the treasure (our own wisdom) is hidden. (One of) My craziness’s is called “being nosey” but when I was writing my dissertation it was called “research.” On an average day it’s just simple, “curiosity.” If we get rid of or kill anything off about us we take away or lose what makes us, us.
Here are a few simple tools that are always within your reach and can increase your awareness for you to play with. These techniques can help you connect with your heart and intuitive guidance. Don’t be fooled, remember that simple does not mean easy. But with practice, anything can become second nature, even under duress. They all reflect the deeper meaning to the ease of the movement between and through us to others, which is what I call, Love.Being.Human.
Do nothing
Stop doing what you normally do and do the opposite
Release the tension of knowing (when, how, where, who or why) and trust.
Follow what feels good.
Notice your judgements, name them and let them go.
Allow yourself to play and move forward according to your own inner compass.
Get quite, drop into love and allow.
Each of these simple (again not easy, but simple) practices are intended to help you pave the path to your heart. The place where your spirit comes alive.
Here’s a recent example of what that might look like, from my own life.
This Thursday note is dropping into your inbox on a Friday because I was “done” before I could get everything “done” yesterday. I’m not ahead of my content production schedule and even though I’ve had this in the works for weeks, I keep tweaking it and not letting it go.
Last night I recognized that the book that was almost finished was what called my heart and the final quote on the last page is below as my gift to you. I had started the day before dawn to primp and prep and get this to you, but a 5:30 am yoga practice, full court press all day, and then an evening team dinner for the Aledo Varsity Football players had me spent. I’m a day late because we both live within the same glorious constraints of life.
So I trusted you would be ok with the slight delay and I asked David to pitch in and make the next day’s lunch’s. After an 18 hour day of doing all I had left was the need for sleep.
We’re all in this together ebbing and flowing giving it our daily best.
If things are working for you, don’t change anything. If they aren’t then do something different. Recognize your own needs and make clear requests to your inner circle. Everyone will be nurtured by your own love for yourself.
But don’t trust me on this one, try it on for size and see how you can fit small bits into your own life.
Test it, where it feels safe.
Test it, in tiny bits.
Build on your relationship with your inner compass.
Now it’s your turn, if it feels good fill me in on your own dance and share how one of the practice’s worked out or reply with any questions I might have stirred up.
Livin’ it to Give it,
Vivian
Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
*Previously shared with my email list on October 3, 2014